this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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