make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize