So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
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Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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