I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize