Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize