I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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