he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize