when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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