I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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