A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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