He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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