This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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