i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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