I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize