HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize