this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
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