YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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