man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize