You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
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I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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