sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is wine microwaveable?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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