oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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