Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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