p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize