if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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