Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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