can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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