You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize