Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
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I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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