Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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