Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize