he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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