I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
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i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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