And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize