I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize