i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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