Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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