Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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