I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize