You just made me feel so damn special
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize