new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Randomize