Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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