Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize