You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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