just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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