my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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