C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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