I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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