found the other keg... it's in the tree
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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