I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize