do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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